Impetus vs. Inspiration

Do you think that sometimes complacency is the reason for unhappiness? I have this thing where I can adapt to any situation and come out happy for the most part. When I was younger that was a great survival technique [Charlie, am I starting to sound like Dr. Rey?] but now it seems more like a fault. Acceptance is not always the key.

for instance: my job. I haven't liked my job for some time now, and it has started to erode at both my confidence and my core sense of happiness. Isn't that profound? When you don't like what you do for 40 hours a week it eats at your soul a little bit.

But, honestly, I'm a little scared of change. I have some vast amount of responsibility and a null amount of savings and just jumping out there into a new job seems to be a little terrifying.

So, instead, I have just been treading water. Me. Treading water. I used to yell at people for that.

I have felt indebted to my job because they let me work there through pregnancy and it's my first job out of college. Technically, I've been working there since I was 19.

Lately, though, I have found my impetus. Or maybe my impeti. [I'm not sure the plural form of that...]

Moving right along, I had a meeting with my boss on Friday that was absurd and would have had me in a state of depression for the whole weekend if I hadn't been suction cupped to Charlie's side on Saturday and Sunday. And for a few minutes on Monday. Thanks for being my serotonin, baby.

I was chastised both for reasons I deserved and reasons I didn't. And my parenting skill were called into question in front of another employee. Of course there's more to the story, but that's the gist of it.

Charlie, also is a reason. [No pressure.] It makes such a difference to know you have someone there to hold your had as you step off into the unknown. Somehow holding my hand is helping me develop a spine. Anatomy is wild like that sometimes.

So, I think I'm looking for another job. Any suggestions?

But what's he building in there?

Ok. I have had a rotten day for a variety of reasons, some of which include bad hair, a dental visit, and a threat of termination from my job. I came home, put Max to bed and decided to soak my day away in the tub. Charlie recommended this fabulous music station known as Pandora.com that I have listened to incessently for the last three days. I plugged my computer into the outlet above the sink, turned on the wonderful music and sank deep into the warm consoling water.

Please explain to me why the second song on the randomized play list was a Contemporary Christian song about giving your heart to god.

My wonderful Pandora has betrayed me and somehow my music selection makes them think I love Jesus. I guess no one told them we broke up.

Luckily, sound doesn't travel well through water so I sunk my head under like an alligator in a bog until the praising was over.

PS, my toe hurts a lot in hot water. Avoid. Pedicures.

Snowdrifts

I have figured out how to make cold weather bearable.

Option #1: Layers, winter gear, and snow boots
Option #2: Charlie

False Advertising/False Hope

Anna and I went to the "sit through our presentation get a free vacation!" thing last night. I did get some neat free gifts and my "free" vacation costs air fare plus $200, but we caught Chester the Presenter in a lie!

First of all, let me set the scene. All engaged couples plus me and Anna. Waterless pots and pans, fine china, cutlery and crystal stemware. Really loud contemporary christian music playing from a boombox in the corner. And, I swear, the guy's name actually was Chester.

For the whole set of pots and pans, plus the free gift of 4 pieces of stemware plus four pieces of fine china your walk out cost would be 2785 or something ungodly like that. But he almost had me. I really wanted to cook my vegetables in one teaspoon of water and have them more colorful and more nutritious.

Then he held up a pair of kitchen scissors and said that they would not only cut through a penny, but could also cut a raw chicken into pieces. WOW!!

So, Anna and I took the scissors, took a penny and....couldn't cut it.

The moral? Never trust anyone who loudly plays contemporary christian music on the sly.

Cupid VS Street Cred

The hardest part about being in a relationship with someone who is consistently amazing is that it's kind of tough when Valentine's Day rolls around. I feel like special things are done for me every single day to show how much he cares and how important I am to him. When I see the 'above and beyond' every day Valentine's Day seems somewhat insignificant.

That is until I get surprised with flowers at work, attack the man delivering them, and then bawl in front of several people for a good five minutes.

Thank you, Valentine. Not just for today/yesterday/this weekend, but for all the things you do that make me feel like we've figured out one of the great secrets to happiness.

I love you. It's unhealthy and it's phenomenal and I'm excited for each day in the rest of our lives.

Snow Days

I have figured out the root of all my winter laziness.

Alas, it is the days of yore when there was a such thing as a snow day.

Every time it snows I start watching the news for this:

Clayton School District: Closed
Central States Thermo King: Closed

As if Allen wakes up in the morning, tests the roads, calls News Channel 5 and reports that we'll be off work.

Today I got a phone call from Dale Carnegie staffmember. Guess what they said? CLOSED.

Somehow, I felt justified. As if something I have yearned for for the last three years finally came to be.

How fabulous.

Night Terrors

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's amazing how fast I can move for being completely asleep. I think I jumped out of bed so fast and with such ferocity that my feet didn't even hit the floor until I was to the door of my room.

Max woke me up after midnight screaming my name amid tears. I sprinted in record time from my room to his, screaching to a halt in front of his door so I could make a calming, quiet entrance and ease his fears. I creapt in whispering, "Hi honey. Shhh, you're ok. What's wrong?"

I was surprised to see that he was still in bed. From the blood curdling terror in his voice I figured he had plummeted the foot and a half from his bed to the floor.

"Mommy" he sobbed as my hand (still shaking from the middle-of-the-night-adrenalin) reached out to touch his hair, "I can't find Lightening."

Thank you, Doc, for getting us the cars from the Cars movie. Max really loves them.